I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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