Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
