At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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