I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
