I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
