How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
