My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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