Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
