yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i believe in u and ur pee
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
