i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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