she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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