Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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