Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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