so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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