I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
