My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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