i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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