Fine. I'll sleep in my office
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I believe in your delicious
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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