so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
