i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
