There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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