My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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