see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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