we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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