My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
