We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
