Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm both gender and math confused
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize