Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
