We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
