we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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