God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
