Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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