the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
