i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
