Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You're like the curious george of whores
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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