so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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