hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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