They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
