I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
