I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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