talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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