Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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