I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
