So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize