Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
