mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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