Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
