Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
