FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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