Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
