White coat. Heels.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
