normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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