i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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