you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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