roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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