I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
