i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
