Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
