the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
