the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
