Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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