did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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