Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
