Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
