i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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