im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
