I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize