all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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