im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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