I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize