I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
